So a few days ago i was a complete mess and today I feel like I’ve never felt better. Its a good feeling, the feeling of being in tune with one's self, of knowing what you want and of feeling content. I guess everything boils down to perspective..on how you look at the world around you, how you decide to make the best of every situation. Let me tell you, i am not a very optimistic person to start with so either I m changing for the better or this is one of those climbs before the steep fall in the roller coaster of life. Whatever it is, I don’t want it to change, I have been feeling good about myself and I like it.
What brought on this change?? Don’t ask me!! Ok maybe do ask me; somehow during the last few days it actually sunk in that I am not actually in love with him, I just want him because I can’t have him. I know that’s juvenile but you can’t help what you feel right…so I changed my perspective on the situation and its been a good few days. So rare that you feel so centered in life, so content with whatever is happening with you that I thought maybe instead of just venting when I am angry or hurt or distressed I should also put down the “highs”( and not just the alcohol induced)of life.
Oh and I went shopping, so that’s always good and I am traveling for work tomorrow and then extending it with a mini vacation with him so excited about that too.
Ok time to call it a night, work tomorrow and then off to the airport!!
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Friday, March 14, 2008
Yes...no..noo..yess..umm maybe?
March 11, 2008
**i wrote this on march 11 when i was feeling completely lost but couldnt post it till now. To keep authencity of the blog, i wish i could post back dated blogs...but oh well..****
We tell ourselves we wont make the same mistakes again, but how often does that actually help? Dont we end up ignoring our own advice and stumble and fall over and over again? And if we do, what is the way out? how do we tell ourselves to stop the brutal damange we keep doing to our hearts and minds?
I know what i am doing is wrong, well not really wrong but its not doing any good. all it does it hurt my feelings over and over again. I am not causing damange to anyone but myself, is that still wrong? or is it legal to damage our own sanity?
What do you do when you are in love with someone who is in love with someone else? isn't that life's biggest irony? I know this happens to countless people but I still feel like I am the first one to go through this suffering(although not for the first time but feels as painful as ever). I cant even blame anyone else for it this time, it is totally my own doing. I told myself i wont make the mistake again, i wont fall in love again or get attached to someone who will hurt me again, but oh well life happens.
Funny how i can go from being completely angry and resentful to totally aloof in the span of few hours. I dont know if everyone has such volatile emotions or its just me...makes it difficult to understand what i actually feel..Which feeling is true?what i am feeling right now or the way i felt 3 hours ago !!
**i wrote this on march 11 when i was feeling completely lost but couldnt post it till now. To keep authencity of the blog, i wish i could post back dated blogs...but oh well..****
We tell ourselves we wont make the same mistakes again, but how often does that actually help? Dont we end up ignoring our own advice and stumble and fall over and over again? And if we do, what is the way out? how do we tell ourselves to stop the brutal damange we keep doing to our hearts and minds?
I know what i am doing is wrong, well not really wrong but its not doing any good. all it does it hurt my feelings over and over again. I am not causing damange to anyone but myself, is that still wrong? or is it legal to damage our own sanity?
What do you do when you are in love with someone who is in love with someone else? isn't that life's biggest irony? I know this happens to countless people but I still feel like I am the first one to go through this suffering(although not for the first time but feels as painful as ever). I cant even blame anyone else for it this time, it is totally my own doing. I told myself i wont make the mistake again, i wont fall in love again or get attached to someone who will hurt me again, but oh well life happens.
Funny how i can go from being completely angry and resentful to totally aloof in the span of few hours. I dont know if everyone has such volatile emotions or its just me...makes it difficult to understand what i actually feel..Which feeling is true?what i am feeling right now or the way i felt 3 hours ago !!
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Happy non-anniversary to me.!!
What’s this about now you ask, and to be honest even I am not sure. Today is the 1yr anniversary of the first date I went on with Ex…but does it still count as an anniversary if we are not together anymore? I don’t care, I am still gonna think of it as one because I want to cherish and celebrate this day or at least the memory I have of this day. I asked him today, “Do you know what’s today?” and promptly a message pops up on my chat window, “What?” I say “think” You say “No games please, and I cant think” and that’s the end of that. Maybe I’ll tell you later …
But the irony of the whole situation is that we are in fact meeting today – in lieu of the new friendship thing we are trying, but still I did not want to meet him today. I don’t want to replace the memory of this day with anything else.
Lets rename Ex first because I don’t really like that term anymore, it refers to someone who’s not a part of my life anymore. So lets call this funny guy Calvin(his fav cartoon
too).
Ok, Flashback to …Dec 2006.
Calvin and I have been working in the same place for about a year now. We know each other as someone whom we see in the cafeteria or have shared a cab from the station sometime. He noticed a book in my hand once and we talked about it for a little while.
(he remembered all this btw , I had no clue) , so ya we were basically hi-bye friends.
Then I got promoted and landed in the training dept, which was the same that happened to Calvin too. I should mention that I worked in a male dominated company and was considered “one of the guys” so I never even thought about any guy in the office as potential relationship material and was very casual with everyone. So slowly we started to get to know each other and were training a batch together (my first training batch). Eventually we found out that we had a lot of common interests and started enjoying each others company.
So about a year and few days ago, one Friday he told me that is probably going to be on my side of town the next day( he lives in Thane which is like miles away) so I told him to call me if he was around and wanted to hang out. We decided we would catch a play if we could. So that Saturday (13th jan btw) we met at prithvi café for their famous Irish Coffee, and spent hours sitting and chatting. I was amazed at how well we connected and enjoyed the evening, so did he. We couldn’t catch a play that day as it was all sold out, but Cal (that’s what I am gonna call him now) booked tickets to a play called Crab (till-date I have no idea what tht play is about) which was on 17th Jan 2007 (he used to say this was the smartest thing he ever did, until ofcourse we broke up). Again, since I have a brain the size of a pea I still hadn’t caught on that he fancies me.
We started a SMS marathon from that evening onwards till Monday morning when we met again at work.
This is where my memory is slightly fuzzy but I’ll try to remember as much as possible. After work that Monday or Tuesday I was supposed to meet my best friend for a drink so I asked if he wanted to join us and he agreed. Ok now this is the interesting part, we sit in a cab and in a few minutes he holds my hand. I didn’t know what the hell the happening. I think I kept still from the sheer shock of it, and he took it as a positive gesture. So anyway we meet my friend, have a couple of drinks (him – couple, me & friend – no idea) and then on the way back my friend is like – ohmygodhe’scrazyaboutyou in that shrieking squeaky voice. I told her she was out of her mind, but that’s when I started thinking about it. So finally Wednesday happened and we took off from work (all secretive since we didn’t want ppl at work to talk about us – another reason for breakup in the future) and reached Prithvi long before the play was about to start. So we sat there talking about random things but apparently I was super quiet that evening. This is what I remember about the part before the play – I was sitting there staring at a wall listening to some guy playing the flute there and Calvin talking about something. The next thing I know is we are holding hands and sitting there without talking, without moving. Finally its time to go in and so we move. I remember feeling so complete, so much at peace at myself in that time of just being there. Now, don’t ask what happening in the play or the rest of the evening. I think we went for a walk on the beach after that play and talked and talked and talked, that’s when I knew I was hooked.
They say that the first’s of any kind are always memorable, and I think that day is something which will be tucked deep inside where I can keep it safe for the rest of my lives, along with the other heartwarming memories…..
Things kept moving forward from that day on, and before I could catch my breath I had fallen in love – truly madly deeply style at that too !
I had intended to write about our entire relationship today but somehow don’t want to get into the uglier aspects of it when I am cherishing the lovely memories of our time together. So all the depressing stuff can wait, also I better start wrapping up at work. I am meeting him to go window shopping for cell phones, ironic eh?
Oh well, that’s how life is…up…down..up..down…up …down .....VVRrrrrrooooooooommmmmmm and then somewhere suddenly you’ll fall in love …..
EDIT 1: I think this is almighty's way of reminding me why we are not together. Well, remember the plan about going shopping? ok, i am about to leave work in 10 mins and message him to ask him something and i get a reply - sorry might not be able to make it today. will call you later.
WHY WHY WHY can't he call me and let me know in advance if hes not going to make it, he does this every time and nothing pisses me off more than a last minute cancellation.
So much for happy memories....i m gonna cry now !
But the irony of the whole situation is that we are in fact meeting today – in lieu of the new friendship thing we are trying, but still I did not want to meet him today. I don’t want to replace the memory of this day with anything else.
Lets rename Ex first because I don’t really like that term anymore, it refers to someone who’s not a part of my life anymore. So lets call this funny guy Calvin(his fav cartoon
too).
Ok, Flashback to …Dec 2006.
Calvin and I have been working in the same place for about a year now. We know each other as someone whom we see in the cafeteria or have shared a cab from the station sometime. He noticed a book in my hand once and we talked about it for a little while.
(he remembered all this btw , I had no clue) , so ya we were basically hi-bye friends.
Then I got promoted and landed in the training dept, which was the same that happened to Calvin too. I should mention that I worked in a male dominated company and was considered “one of the guys” so I never even thought about any guy in the office as potential relationship material and was very casual with everyone. So slowly we started to get to know each other and were training a batch together (my first training batch). Eventually we found out that we had a lot of common interests and started enjoying each others company.
So about a year and few days ago, one Friday he told me that is probably going to be on my side of town the next day( he lives in Thane which is like miles away) so I told him to call me if he was around and wanted to hang out. We decided we would catch a play if we could. So that Saturday (13th jan btw) we met at prithvi café for their famous Irish Coffee, and spent hours sitting and chatting. I was amazed at how well we connected and enjoyed the evening, so did he. We couldn’t catch a play that day as it was all sold out, but Cal (that’s what I am gonna call him now) booked tickets to a play called Crab (till-date I have no idea what tht play is about) which was on 17th Jan 2007 (he used to say this was the smartest thing he ever did, until ofcourse we broke up). Again, since I have a brain the size of a pea I still hadn’t caught on that he fancies me.
We started a SMS marathon from that evening onwards till Monday morning when we met again at work.
This is where my memory is slightly fuzzy but I’ll try to remember as much as possible. After work that Monday or Tuesday I was supposed to meet my best friend for a drink so I asked if he wanted to join us and he agreed. Ok now this is the interesting part, we sit in a cab and in a few minutes he holds my hand. I didn’t know what the hell the happening. I think I kept still from the sheer shock of it, and he took it as a positive gesture. So anyway we meet my friend, have a couple of drinks (him – couple, me & friend – no idea) and then on the way back my friend is like – ohmygodhe’scrazyaboutyou in that shrieking squeaky voice. I told her she was out of her mind, but that’s when I started thinking about it. So finally Wednesday happened and we took off from work (all secretive since we didn’t want ppl at work to talk about us – another reason for breakup in the future) and reached Prithvi long before the play was about to start. So we sat there talking about random things but apparently I was super quiet that evening. This is what I remember about the part before the play – I was sitting there staring at a wall listening to some guy playing the flute there and Calvin talking about something. The next thing I know is we are holding hands and sitting there without talking, without moving. Finally its time to go in and so we move. I remember feeling so complete, so much at peace at myself in that time of just being there. Now, don’t ask what happening in the play or the rest of the evening. I think we went for a walk on the beach after that play and talked and talked and talked, that’s when I knew I was hooked.
They say that the first’s of any kind are always memorable, and I think that day is something which will be tucked deep inside where I can keep it safe for the rest of my lives, along with the other heartwarming memories…..
Things kept moving forward from that day on, and before I could catch my breath I had fallen in love – truly madly deeply style at that too !
I had intended to write about our entire relationship today but somehow don’t want to get into the uglier aspects of it when I am cherishing the lovely memories of our time together. So all the depressing stuff can wait, also I better start wrapping up at work. I am meeting him to go window shopping for cell phones, ironic eh?
Oh well, that’s how life is…up…down..up..down…up …down .....VVRrrrrrooooooooommmmmmm and then somewhere suddenly you’ll fall in love …..
EDIT 1: I think this is almighty's way of reminding me why we are not together. Well, remember the plan about going shopping? ok, i am about to leave work in 10 mins and message him to ask him something and i get a reply - sorry might not be able to make it today. will call you later.
WHY WHY WHY can't he call me and let me know in advance if hes not going to make it, he does this every time and nothing pisses me off more than a last minute cancellation.
So much for happy memories....i m gonna cry now !
Monday, January 14, 2008
Blast from the Past..
I tried so hard, And got so far, But in the end, It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall, To lose it all, But in the end, It doesn’t even matter…..
Sometimes I can’t help but wonder if our life is already plotted out on the grid of the world by the powers-that-be, and all we have to do is accept the path chalked out for us. Can we really change the course of our life? Does it matter what we want? Or if we want things to be different, people to change? Is there a form I can fill out and someone will make those changes and send me an email when it’s all done??
I finally met up with Ex( yes I know, the full story coming soon) on Saturday. He suggested one of our regular hangouts when we were with each other, and I wasn’t too keen on going there..too many memories associated with that place. So finally after a lot of googling, calling friends and cousins I came up with a list of options where we could go thinking I could atleast coax him to try a new place now! He’s the kind you lives by the tried and tested, while I am all for exploring new restaurants and experimenting with food (see why we broke up? This is just the tip of the iceberg tho). Finally settled on a new place which sounded promising – rooftop seating and Indian food ( I knew he would pick this place before I even send him the list, hes a dal, chawal, chicken curry guy). But as if my apprehension about meeting him alone after almost 6 months wasn’t enough, we had an hour or so to kill since the restaurant opens only at 8 (we were meeting at 7), so it was back to him sending me a sms saying “ seems like we are destined to go to oxford today”, oh well, I guess I might as well get over all of it in one go. I was feeling a little weird about the whole thing, excited and apprehensive at the same time, oh and throw in nervous there too. Ya I guess that sums it all up.
Thankfully this time the powers-that-be decided that for once ‘Thee shalt nought make fool of theeself’ , so I did not get all awkward and silent when we met but rather, I was my chirpy and witty self. My nervousness all but vanished a few minutes after we sat down at ‘our’ table (which I don’t know if he noticed, but didn’t bring to his attn) and started talking about random stuff. My phone kept ringing off the hook for the first 30 mins, which I knew he didn’t like so after a bit I put it on silent and shoved it deep down in my purse.
After about an hour of bonding at the café and surprisingly no awkward moments we headed out to go to dinner. The more I struggled to make sure the evening wasn’t a walk down the memory lane, it was turning into just that. The new restaurant I wanted to try, was in one of the by lanes which we had once walked thru numerous times when we were tying to discover colaba. We were in and out of the place in less than 10 mins – the waiters snooty attitude and the fact that they didn’t serve alcohol was enough to drive us away. Once again, we were on the streets walking towards Leo’s with just one thought running through my mind – why-oh-why-does-this-have-to-happen-to-me!!!
Leo’s is the only place other than Oxford he would agree to go to for the entire 6 months we were together if we were anywhere in south Mumbai. So again Vrrrrroooooommmmmmmm – the memories came rushing back and as if this wasn’t enough we get the exact same table which we always got when we were there. This time he did notice and ask, ‘Isn’t this table we always get?’ and I meekly nod my head trying to act all nonchalant.
Other than all the flashbacks going on in the background, we had a blast. It was almost a surreal feeling. It seemed like I was thrown back in time to our first few dates when we both just sat and talked and talked and everything was so new and exciting. It was almost like re-discovering each other again, something I am glad we are able to do. I have always enjoyed his company and again realized how well we understand each other and the conversation flows so easily. There were times when I was soo happy that I wanted to cry out of happiness. I haven’t felt the way I did with him with anyone else since him. That’s the problem actually; I don’t think I am 100% over him yet. No I don’t cry myself to sleep every night thinking about him, but somewhere deep down I still miss him. If there are 50 reasons why I want to be with him, I can come up with atleast the same amount if not more for why we shouldn’t be together.
I wish I could change the things that keep us from being a great couple, I wish instead of just great friends we can have more…I wish we can be what the other wants in a partner..but will doing that change the people we are now? Will we loose our appeal if we change to become partners instead of friends?? I even made a statement during the evening saying ‘ I wouldn’t repeat the same mistake twice’ and it was refferening to our relationship, but did I really mean it? Would I be willing to risk it all again? Is that what we are headed towards??
I don’t want to fall for him again, but how ever hard I try, there’s this invisible force that keeps pulling us towards each other…..but I am soo gonna try to stay true to my word and not make the same mistake again.
Please powers-to-be, don’t keep changing the course of my life ever so often that I don’t know where I am headed towards and fall back into the past .
And please-o-please don’t you dare ruin this wonderful friendship which has started to blossom again… which makes me happy, he makes me happy. :)
PS: oh I think he thought I looked nice, but ofcourse he will never come out and say it, but he did notice my new haircut ..YAY !
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Randomness...
I am in one of “those” moods today..what is those mood? Yes yes, ofcourse I’ll elaborate on that. What did you think? I’ll write that and leave you to figure it out yourself?? Hell no , I am not that mean also.
I woke up feeling nothing, I know some of you will say how can you feel nothing but that’s what I call when I don’t feel strongly about anything. I am not sad, I am not happy, nor am I excited about my day ahead. Basically I could care less attitude, more or less actually. No no its not the same as apathy, when I feel nothing, I just go through the day without thinking, just doing stuff I am supposed to do. Get it now? No? ok nevermind…just read, this is for me anyways. So yea, I woke up feeling nothing. I feel that a lot these days, its not that nothing’s happening in my life. My new job is pretty cool, even if it doesn’t keep me busy all the time. I just came back from a fanta-bulous trip to Goa, I have been keeping in touch with old friends( kudos to me, I suck at keeping in touch) and I had a pretty decent weekend with my maternal family. I met my aunt who is in amrika and is here for a bit, whom I am pretty close to as I lived with them for almost 2 years when I was in the issstates. So yea, there’s no gaping hole in my life then why do I feel “nothing” most days???
Oh, Ex and I have been chatting almost everyday recently. I make it a point not to message him when I see him online and wait till he sends me a message (petty I know, but I need to feel that he wants to chat with me instead of feeling he’s talking to me coz he doesn’t want to be rude) and its been good. I always like to keep in touch with ex’s unless its been a meaningless fling or we had no connection at all. Yes I accept, I am one of “those”. I hope we can go back to being friends where we can call each other to crib about work, or just because we are bored. I don’t like the awkwardness between us right now.
What’s with all the CIO’s wearing identical black blazers?? I saw 5 ..yes FIVE people today who came to our office to meet my boss( who was also wearing a black blazer) wearing the exact same black blazers. C’mon guys, experiment a little, how about adding some color around here??
I am bored…Bored…BORED….BORED (hehe…I had fun doing that). How do I kill time at work when I cant play games and have to be super careful while surfing too. Sadly my desk is visible to everyone who walks in and out of our office area. Right by the door, and that too with my back to it and right outside my boss’s cabin. HOW, I ask am I supposed to goof around ! (silent thanks to Alt+Tab who makes life a little simpler)
Ok that’s it for now..2 more hours to go…Hmmmnn…
I woke up feeling nothing, I know some of you will say how can you feel nothing but that’s what I call when I don’t feel strongly about anything. I am not sad, I am not happy, nor am I excited about my day ahead. Basically I could care less attitude, more or less actually. No no its not the same as apathy, when I feel nothing, I just go through the day without thinking, just doing stuff I am supposed to do. Get it now? No? ok nevermind…just read, this is for me anyways. So yea, I woke up feeling nothing. I feel that a lot these days, its not that nothing’s happening in my life. My new job is pretty cool, even if it doesn’t keep me busy all the time. I just came back from a fanta-bulous trip to Goa, I have been keeping in touch with old friends( kudos to me, I suck at keeping in touch) and I had a pretty decent weekend with my maternal family. I met my aunt who is in amrika and is here for a bit, whom I am pretty close to as I lived with them for almost 2 years when I was in the issstates. So yea, there’s no gaping hole in my life then why do I feel “nothing” most days???
Oh, Ex and I have been chatting almost everyday recently. I make it a point not to message him when I see him online and wait till he sends me a message (petty I know, but I need to feel that he wants to chat with me instead of feeling he’s talking to me coz he doesn’t want to be rude) and its been good. I always like to keep in touch with ex’s unless its been a meaningless fling or we had no connection at all. Yes I accept, I am one of “those”. I hope we can go back to being friends where we can call each other to crib about work, or just because we are bored. I don’t like the awkwardness between us right now.
What’s with all the CIO’s wearing identical black blazers?? I saw 5 ..yes FIVE people today who came to our office to meet my boss( who was also wearing a black blazer) wearing the exact same black blazers. C’mon guys, experiment a little, how about adding some color around here??
I am bored…Bored…BORED….BORED (hehe…I had fun doing that). How do I kill time at work when I cant play games and have to be super careful while surfing too. Sadly my desk is visible to everyone who walks in and out of our office area. Right by the door, and that too with my back to it and right outside my boss’s cabin. HOW, I ask am I supposed to goof around ! (silent thanks to Alt+Tab who makes life a little simpler)
Ok that’s it for now..2 more hours to go…Hmmmnn…
Monday, January 7, 2008
Sunshine Part Deux....
So ya, the next morning I was literally up at the crack of the dawn because some stupid ass roster was doing its thing. I look outside and its dark, look over the other side and James boy is fast asleep so I try to snuggle back to dream land but the birds and bees had ganged up against me and make that a very difficult task. I finally gave up and figured I might as well catch up on some reading or take a walk, and let me tell you this, I think it’s a good experience to wake up at unearthly hours atleast once a year and watch the sun come up. I spent most of the morning reading and walking around Anjuna and then settled down at Munchies for a nice breakfast. Finally James stirred around noon and after a lot of this and that we managed to head out to Baga beach around 2pm. Once again I was in a state of awe when we reached baga beach..WOW ! I quickly asked a local kiddo where we can para sail and after showing James the intricacies of haggling we were all set to fly the skies. After almost drowning into the sea while trying to jump from the small boat to the big boat I was having doubts abt letting myself go up. But go I did, and man was it fun! Its one of those truly free feelings even though you are safely held by that industrial grade harness. I was a tad disappointed when my feet touched the wood of the boat although I was slightly queasy coz of all the movement. After safely making it back to the shore without any ‘accidents’, we went along to find those super fast jet skis we’d seen zooming around. Didn’t really haggle with the guy who had the 1200cc jet ski’s coz he was really cute and we really wanted to get on those mean machines. Oh the thrill of zooming across the rough seas and being thrown up and down by the lethal waves was something that I can express with words, but now I know why people are all for adventure sports. The guy who was with me was very sweet and even let me ride the bike for a minute or so once we were in deep waters, and I felt like I owned the sea at that moment !
So after all that blood soaring zooming around, we met up with Brr (who was pissed coz he was waiting for us for an hour) and ate and chit chatted at Britto’s. We made plans for the night to go to Hill Top, which was just ok. I expected more from my first “Rave party”, but I bought glow sticks nevertheless. We were there with some other travelers that James picked up somewhere along the way ( he picks up people like people pick up stray puppies) and had a decent time at hill top. But I eventually got tired of finding everyone who kept getting lost and was ready to hit the sack. Brr and me headed back and were lazing around and talking when James came back as well. So we spent a couple hours pulling each others leg and me listening to these two engaging in some pretty disgusting guy talk.
Started off the new year by heading out to Old Goa to catch some more sights and take in the lovely ride from Panjim to Old Goa. The highlight of the day was this small little place on the way looking over the river where we stopped for lunch on our way back. It was the perfect way to end an amazing vacation, lovely view and great conversation and a chilled beer ! We headed back to Anjuna but not before stopping at the Tibetian market at Baga to look at some junk, didn’t buy anything but I was pretty ticked off at the way they inflate the price of every little thing. A keychain for 200Rs was what killed my enthusiasm to bargain !!
There were many instances on this trip when I was so overcome by the beauty or the serenity of the place that I didn’t know if I should be happy or sad. It was totally overwhelming to be surrounded by so much beauty, and after a long long time I felt at peace with myself. If not completely, atleast I was getting there. The whole experience of not expecting anything from anyone ( like expecting ex to come and meet me ) and just doing what YOU wanted was a liberating experience. It helped the healing process of not being hung up on Ex and I think I am more comfortable about talking to him now than I was before the trip.
The ride back to Bombay was too great, but I made up for it but not going to work the day I reached and catching up on lost sleep and hearing my mom grumble about my tan.
Oh right, you’ll are waiting for my New Year Resolution …ok here it is….umm…actually I have given up making resolutions since I don’t follow them for even an hour. But yea, I do hope I have a year full of happiness, love and everything else I would want at any point in the year .
So after all that blood soaring zooming around, we met up with Brr (who was pissed coz he was waiting for us for an hour) and ate and chit chatted at Britto’s. We made plans for the night to go to Hill Top, which was just ok. I expected more from my first “Rave party”, but I bought glow sticks nevertheless. We were there with some other travelers that James picked up somewhere along the way ( he picks up people like people pick up stray puppies) and had a decent time at hill top. But I eventually got tired of finding everyone who kept getting lost and was ready to hit the sack. Brr and me headed back and were lazing around and talking when James came back as well. So we spent a couple hours pulling each others leg and me listening to these two engaging in some pretty disgusting guy talk.
Started off the new year by heading out to Old Goa to catch some more sights and take in the lovely ride from Panjim to Old Goa. The highlight of the day was this small little place on the way looking over the river where we stopped for lunch on our way back. It was the perfect way to end an amazing vacation, lovely view and great conversation and a chilled beer ! We headed back to Anjuna but not before stopping at the Tibetian market at Baga to look at some junk, didn’t buy anything but I was pretty ticked off at the way they inflate the price of every little thing. A keychain for 200Rs was what killed my enthusiasm to bargain !!
There were many instances on this trip when I was so overcome by the beauty or the serenity of the place that I didn’t know if I should be happy or sad. It was totally overwhelming to be surrounded by so much beauty, and after a long long time I felt at peace with myself. If not completely, atleast I was getting there. The whole experience of not expecting anything from anyone ( like expecting ex to come and meet me ) and just doing what YOU wanted was a liberating experience. It helped the healing process of not being hung up on Ex and I think I am more comfortable about talking to him now than I was before the trip.
The ride back to Bombay was too great, but I made up for it but not going to work the day I reached and catching up on lost sleep and hearing my mom grumble about my tan.
Oh right, you’ll are waiting for my New Year Resolution …ok here it is….umm…actually I have given up making resolutions since I don’t follow them for even an hour. But yea, I do hope I have a year full of happiness, love and everything else I would want at any point in the year .
Friday, January 4, 2008
Sea, Sunshine and everything fine...
After deciding and undeciding a million times (yes even after I posted that I AM going) I told my parents about my impromptu plan and was all set to hear "this is stupid, you can’t go like this, where will you stay? It’s so unsafe in goa...blah blah blah", but they surprise me everytime! Dad said fine, just let me know if you need anything in goa and I’ll get in touch with some people. All I could do was stare and then hurriedly pack my bags and get out before they realized what I was actually doing.
But anyways, I came to work and managed to find a place (after a lot of surfing and phone calls) in a family run guest house near anjuna to stay and bus tickets to goa. After that frantic morning I was all set to sleep off my fatigue on the bus, which is what I did.
Woke up the next morning to the beautiful morning sun and the goan villages zooming by and it was one of those truly blissful mornings.
Brr who was near anjuna came and picked me up from the bus stop and took me to Anjuna, and I think somewhere along the bike ride was when I actually fell in love with Goa. I had never been a huge fan of the place and always thought that there were better places to go to, but was I wrong or what! Those lovely palms swaying in the morning breeze, bikes zooming past on the small village roads, and quaint little huts and houses lining the streets how can you not like the place.
The guesthouse was like icing on the cake and was exactly what I was looking for. A nice relaxing atmosphere to chill. I was told my roommate was a guy from England was he was sleeping and the others hadn't moved out yet. So me and Brr dumped my luggage there and head off to have some breakfast and explore. I must say I was impressed with the variety and quality of food you get in goa, but I guess that comes from catering mostly to foreign tourists.
We went to Vagator beach and I saw the place where Dil chahata hai was shot and mainly went for a long ride around the area - ME LIKEY!!
After a nice long nap I was all set to discover anjuna beach by myself. Oh I should mention that I briefly caught a glimpse of my roommate when he was on his way out and all I can say is cuuuteee! Anyways, I walked to anjuna beach only to find there wasn't really a beach there, just lots of rocks and small patch of sand. Beautiful nonetheless. I spent some time strolling around the area and trying to be bullied into buying some really cool but super expensive nick-knacks. What amazed me there was the enthusiasm of the locals there, no matter how much you ignored them, they kept badgering you over and over and over in that amazingly accented English (which would easily get them jobs in any American call center btw).
I settled down in this place called Sunshine cafe, which had outdoor tables in small balconies facing the sea. After a couple hours, few beers and a watching a glorious sunset I was thoroughly relaxed and a little tipsy. I had always enjoyed spending time by myself and this just reminded me how much I had missed out on alone quality time recently.
Went back to the hotel, and found my roommate sitting in the veranda outside our room. So figured this was a good time as any to get to know him and thankfully we hit it off immediately. It was great to get to know other people and hanging out with them. I hadn't realized it before but it was something I had missed since I moved to India. We here are either skeptical about 'foreigners' or so much in awe of them that we don’t really open up and try to get to know them. It was a very interesting evening and we made plans to go sight seeing in goa the next day. James (that’s his name btw, since I don’t think he'll be reading this or will mind if I do use his real name) had rented an Activa (so adorable) so we were all excited about hitting the goan beaches the next day.
Ok sorry, but this is getting rather long so I am going to break it into two parts. Part 2 coming up very soon...stay tuned. :)
Better get some work done since I have a zillion things to do.
But anyways, I came to work and managed to find a place (after a lot of surfing and phone calls) in a family run guest house near anjuna to stay and bus tickets to goa. After that frantic morning I was all set to sleep off my fatigue on the bus, which is what I did.
Woke up the next morning to the beautiful morning sun and the goan villages zooming by and it was one of those truly blissful mornings.
Brr who was near anjuna came and picked me up from the bus stop and took me to Anjuna, and I think somewhere along the bike ride was when I actually fell in love with Goa. I had never been a huge fan of the place and always thought that there were better places to go to, but was I wrong or what! Those lovely palms swaying in the morning breeze, bikes zooming past on the small village roads, and quaint little huts and houses lining the streets how can you not like the place.
The guesthouse was like icing on the cake and was exactly what I was looking for. A nice relaxing atmosphere to chill. I was told my roommate was a guy from England was he was sleeping and the others hadn't moved out yet. So me and Brr dumped my luggage there and head off to have some breakfast and explore. I must say I was impressed with the variety and quality of food you get in goa, but I guess that comes from catering mostly to foreign tourists.
We went to Vagator beach and I saw the place where Dil chahata hai was shot and mainly went for a long ride around the area - ME LIKEY!!
After a nice long nap I was all set to discover anjuna beach by myself. Oh I should mention that I briefly caught a glimpse of my roommate when he was on his way out and all I can say is cuuuteee! Anyways, I walked to anjuna beach only to find there wasn't really a beach there, just lots of rocks and small patch of sand. Beautiful nonetheless. I spent some time strolling around the area and trying to be bullied into buying some really cool but super expensive nick-knacks. What amazed me there was the enthusiasm of the locals there, no matter how much you ignored them, they kept badgering you over and over and over in that amazingly accented English (which would easily get them jobs in any American call center btw).
I settled down in this place called Sunshine cafe, which had outdoor tables in small balconies facing the sea. After a couple hours, few beers and a watching a glorious sunset I was thoroughly relaxed and a little tipsy. I had always enjoyed spending time by myself and this just reminded me how much I had missed out on alone quality time recently.
Went back to the hotel, and found my roommate sitting in the veranda outside our room. So figured this was a good time as any to get to know him and thankfully we hit it off immediately. It was great to get to know other people and hanging out with them. I hadn't realized it before but it was something I had missed since I moved to India. We here are either skeptical about 'foreigners' or so much in awe of them that we don’t really open up and try to get to know them. It was a very interesting evening and we made plans to go sight seeing in goa the next day. James (that’s his name btw, since I don’t think he'll be reading this or will mind if I do use his real name) had rented an Activa (so adorable) so we were all excited about hitting the goan beaches the next day.
Ok sorry, but this is getting rather long so I am going to break it into two parts. Part 2 coming up very soon...stay tuned. :)
Better get some work done since I have a zillion things to do.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
